See No More
by TigerxAngel
Summary: "Love fades, mine has." Every time I closed my eyes his voice is all I hear, his eyes so blank, so void. My heart shattering piece by piece, slowly I was dying. But, being me I wasn't going down without a fight.
1. Love Fades

"_Love fades, mine has."_ Every time I closed my eyes his voice is all I hear, his eyes so blank, so void. My heart shattering piece by piece, slowly I was dying.

"Rose…?" Lissa's voice broke me from my trance. "What happened? I mean I know what happened… but… you can't just give up, just give him time."

"No…" My voice barely above a whisper stopped everything.

"Rose… _Please."_ I slid off the couch where I had been sitting on for the past hour, too afraid to make the journey back to my own room. Lissa reached for my hand, but I flinched back, taking my coat and keys, making sure to close the door softly behind me. Stepping into the corridor I noticed Christian sprinting towards me.

"Rose! Hey Rose where are you going?" I shoved past him, my full attention in ignoring him. "Rose! Rose!" Quickly I dodged past all the rest of the moroi in the building and sped off towards the gate.

"What are you doing here Hathaway?" Looking up from his post some Guardian questioned me.

"Need some air. I'll be back, five minutes tops." He nodded motioning for me to exit. Quickly thanking him I slipped past the wards and let the darkness swarm around me, ghosts appearing from all sides, slowly taking possession of my mind. _Take it away, someone…please…_

I slowly opened my eyes, adjusting to the darkness, taking in the familiar faces around me. Strigoi I had killed, Lissa's family, Anna and Mason. Looking as if they were all coming to welcome me back, back to the world of the dead. Mason took a step forward. I froze, his body no longer grey and so very… dead, but alive, his blue eyes twinkling as if he knew something funny.

"Rose." I'm pretty sure my heart stopped as he spoke my name, something I thought I'd never hear again. "Rose, I need you to get the hell up. Now. I don't care what Belikov has said to you, get your fine ass up off this grass and fight Rose, and fight like your life depends on it, because it does. Now Go!" Suddenly I was picked up from the ground and cradled by a familiar pair of arms. Mason's figure returning to its dullness the farther I went.

"Bye Mase…" I whispered, a smile forming on my face until I looked up. A pair of angry blue eyes glaring down at me. _If there is a God he loves me._

"What the hell were you doing Rose? Have you seriously lost it?" Eddie hissed, glancing around to make sure no one was watching us before continuing. "All I know is I get a call from Lissa saying you're dying and to save you! Do you know how freaked out I was? Do you know how freaked out _everyone_ was? Dear God Rose…"

"I'm guessing sorry isn't going to cut it?" I flashed him a small smile, causing him to sigh before setting me on my feet.

"What happened?" His voice much calmer, his guardian mask slipping, revealing his concern for me.

"I saw Mase… He was happy." A small smile formed on his lips, as he pulled me into his side. "But, I don't know what happened, one second I was hyperventilating and the next Mase is yelling at me to get off my _fine ass_ and then you appeared. Seriously, I wasn't dying, just finally letting go, I think?"

"As long as you're okay… I heard about…" His eyes searched mine as he paused. "Belikov, I'm sorry." A familiar pang entered my heart as he spoke his name, even his surname cause me pain. _Figures._

"Let's just get to Lissa, I bet she's here right now though…" I quickly entered her mind to find my assumptions correct as she smiled, letting me know she could feel my presence also. "The bond's gotten stronger. She gets sucked into my head now too." I quickly got Eddie up to speed as we jogged back to Lissa's apartment, my heart slowly healing along the way.

_Don't worry Mase I'm going to fight until my heart stops beating, and maybe a little bit after that._

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><p><strong>Hello everyone! TigerXAngel here! So please review, chapters will get longer from here but I needed to just get the story going yah know:) Well ANYWAY thanks for reading and <em>reviewing;)<em> Please? I need all the help I can get! Anyway THANK YOU again and uh peace off!**

**~Bri**

**Disclaimer: Richelle Mead is the amazing owner of these characters I just happen to own some of the plot:)**


	2. For you

"I'm sorry Liss-"

"No, Rosemarie you cannot get out of this by apologizing!" I flinched at the use of my full name and for the first time since that night with Avery, I was scared of Lissa. Sadness flashed through the bond as I realized Lissa had shrunk onto the couch, holding her head as her body shook. Immediately Christian wrapped his arms around her whispering in her ear. After a few moments she had calmed down enough for Christian to look up at me.

"I've got it from here. Thank you." I spoke, taking Lissa from his lap and carried her to her room, setting her on the soft bed, tucking her in, placing a kiss on her forehead before crawling in beside her, holding her shaking body until she escaped into sleep. As she slept I let my mind wander. Wondering when our lives would finally become normal, if they ever would.

"Rose?" I shot up out of bed, grabbing my stake before I realized I was in Lissa's room, where Lissa stood across from me, a smile widening on her lips before she jumped into my arms. We both stood there crying into each other's shoulders for what seemed like hours.

With puffy red eyes and pink cheeks, we sat on the bed, with me talking about everything, from Dimitri, to my parents, to life back at the academy and finally to what had happened yesterday. Lissa sat through the whole thing nodding and asking questions when it seemed fit and wrapping me in her arms as I cried, for once our roles had switched and I wasn't bothered by it, it seemed we were finally back to normal, or as normal as we could be.

"You're not going to let him go are you? Because I swear Rose I will kick your sorry…butt if you do." I let out a loud laugh and soon we were both on the verge of tears again, but of happiness thankfully. "I mean it Rose, what you two have is… I don't know how to explain it. I can't believe that he doesn't love you anymore…" Her eyes lit up and I quickly jumped on her.

"No! You are not to talk to him Liss! I have to do this on my own…" She shook her head accepting defeat… for now. "But," Her eyes brightened. "I could use help." She squealed before covering her mouth.

"What about Adrian? He really loves you Rose…" _Shit._ I hadn't thought about Adrian…my mind had been so focused on… Dimitri and Lissa and Mason these last hours that I never gave even a millisecond of thought to Adrian. _I'm such a horrible girlfriend._ "No you're not." _I'm never going to get used to her hearing my thoughts…_ "As I am never going to get used to getting sucked into your head."

"At least you won't see me getting it on with anyone." I tried raising my eyebrow, but scowled as it didn't work. _Damn eyebrows never on my side._ "Anyway, I need to get back to my room, take a shower and get to my post. See you later though Liss. I love you."

"Love you too!" With one last hug I exited her apartment, more like condo, and took a relaxing stroll back to my one bedroom closet-apartment. Watching as the stars stared down at me, and I at them.

"Rose!" I turned to my left, my smile dropping from my face as Adrian sprinted towards me, enveloping me in his arms. "Why haven't you answered your phone? Why haven't you slept at all in the past twenty four hours? I was worried sick… Rose?" My gaze was stuck on a figure looming underneath a lamp across the court yard from us. His hair moving with the wind and eyes staring straight into my soul. After a few seconds he nodded at me and walked off, his duster billowing around his legs with each step.

"I'm sorry." I finally spoke, looking up into Adrian's concern filled green eyes. "For everything."

"I know Little Dhampir, I know." A tear slid down my face as he kissed my fore head and stared back down at me. "I'll always love you."

"Adrian-"

"Don't try and stop me Rose. Don't tell me you love me too, I can see aura's, remember? Just…don't forget that, I love you…and if you, need anyone. I'm always here. My doors always open, for you." With a ghost of a kiss on my lips, Adrian left disappearing into the shadows of the night. He left me standing in the middle of the courtyard, hugging my arms close to my body, shivering from the cold and sobs that wracked through my body, at the loss of another love, at the thoughts of his heart breaking, because of me.

"It's always my damn fault," I growled storming off, towards the gym, by passing my room. For a much needed release of my stress, and emotions. Without a word to any of the other guardians I stalked towards a punching bag, letting my fist collide over and over again with the rough synthetic material slowly destroying the bones in my hands. The pain didn't even register in my mind. All I could see was red as I nearly screamed at the bag. Finally, after over an hour I slid to the floor lying down on the cool gym floor.

"Rosemarie what the hell are you doing?" _Why does everyone keep asking that? Can't a girl lay on the ground in peace?_ I sat up slowly, finally taking notice to my bloodied, broken hands. _Woops_.

"Nice to see you too mom." Next to my mother stood the oh so glorious Abe Mazur, or my father, whichever seemed appropriate at the time. "Old man."

"Little girl." Today he seemed to think an orange scarf was appropriate with his dark blue suit, along with a matching orange tie. _At least he matches today._ "Your mother and I would like to know why you were lying on the ground with broken hands, next to a broken punching bag. But, as I and everyone in the world can see you either broke the bag or the bag broke you and then committed suicide?" _Ah, definitely father today._

"Abe," Janine growled, taking a second to glare at him, before turning back towards me awaiting an answer.

"I was just training mom and things got a little out of hand." She scoffed and kicked the punching bag.

"I would most definitely not use the world _little_ Rose."

"Alright a bit, that better?" Her eyes burned with rage before dearest daddy stepped in, attempting to diffuse the Hathaway bomb that was about to drop.

"Some time soon your mother and I would like to discuss some things with you, over dinner. So call us when you are free."

"That it?" I asked slightly agitated, again. _Time to destroy another punching bag it seems._

"For now," and with that they left, walking strangely close to each other. I almost puked, almost.

"Damn cryptic mobster father."

"Seems like the least of your problems, Roza." _Oh shit._

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><p><strong>AHHHH! Oke I seriously LOVE you guys:) I thought I wouldn't get reviews for daaayysss, but a shout out to the first reviewer Gracefish21 oh my god you made my day! Along with the rest of you ofcourse, you should of seen me I was screaming and jumping up and down and such, it was actually quite sad to watch...<strong>

**ANYWAY So I had to get another one up here before the day ended so yay:)**

**I LOVE YOU ALL:) Review please;) I'll try and ud tomorrow! Peace off.**

**~Bri:)**

**Disclaimer: I not Richelle Mead. I no own Dimitri and his Russian-ness... or Rose and her bad ass-ness...or Christian and his fire-ness? You get the point.**


	3. Falling down

"Hello Guardian Belikov." I watched Dimitri intently as I spoke, smirking on the inside as he flinched at my use of his guardian name. With my guardian mask on, I walked on past him, but before I could reach the door his arm shot out to grab mine, effectively shooting an electric shot up my arm.

"Are you okay Rose?" _Do you really want that answer Dimitri?_ I stood still for over a minute before sighing, shrugging my arm out of his grasp and sauntering out of the gym, towards my second home, the infirmary.

"Good afternoon Rose." The doctor didn't even seem surprised as I lifted my bloody hands onto the table. "Get into a fight with a brick wall early today?" I laughed a little, trying not tense as she realigned the bones in my hands. A few minutes later, with bandaged hands and a bruised ego, I stepped out into the late night air, letting the wind wrap me in its cold embrace.

"Guardian Castile," I said winking at Eddie as I passed him on my way to my room, finally.

"Don't forget your shift starts soon Rose! I need sleep too!" Eddie called after me. I waved with my back turned, letting him know I'd be there. As soon as I reached my door, a sigh of relief flooded my system and I stepped through, throwing my coat on the chair near the door and threw my body onto the bed.

"I'll just sleep for a few minutes…" I whispered closing my eyes for the first time in over a day.

_A mist covered my feet and the trees surrounding me as I stepped quietly, dodging the leaves around me. I perched myself on the ground crouching into a defensive position, listening for any noises. To my left there were howls of pain. I ran in that direction. What I found scared me more than the first time I had seen it. _

_Dimitri stood swatting at the ghosts that were slowly surrounding him as I, well the other me, ran off towards a bridge. _

_ "Oh god… not this…" I whispered stuck where I was, watching Dimitri struggle to go after me. A few seconds later he did just that and sped off in the direction the other me had gone. Slowly I made my way to the bridge watching as Dimitri begged me not to jump, another pang in my chest as he caught me before I could fall. _

_ "I will always love you…" I whispered along with my other self as she plunged the stake into Dimitri's heart. _

_ "That's what I was supposed to say…" A tear slid down my face, watching as Dimitri's body fell backward into a black abyss._

I awoke to swift knocking at the door and someone calling my name. I quickly sprang from my bed, wiping the fresh tears from my face, before swinging my door open.

"Rose I heard…" Dimitri stood a foot away from me, his after shave hitting me like a brick wall, crushing every barrier I had as I sprang forward into his arms. " Rose. Roza what's wrong? What happened? Is the princess okay?" _It's always about her._ I grimaced, stepping back. _They come first._ I reminded myself.

"Sorry, bad dream." I whispered reaching to close my door. His foot stepped in the doorway effectively ruining that idea.

"Tell me." I slowly lifted my gaze to his and smiled as I saw no red tint covering up his gorgeous brown eyes. "_Please Roza_."

"I-I uh." At that precise moment Eddie came running up to my door, glaring at me, well actually more at Dimitri than anything else. "I have to go guardian Belikov, my shift is just starting. Sorry Eddie, I fell asleep."

"It's okay Rose. If you excuse us _Guardian_ Belikov," Eddie growled the last part, using Dimitri's recently changed title. "I need to escort Rose to her post."

"No need Edison-"

"Guardian Castile." Dimitri nodded, silently apologizing.

"Guardian Castile I too am about to start my shift," _no, please dear god no._ "I'll escort Rose, save you a trip." Eddie looked over at me apologizing with his eyes as he nodded at Dimitri and walked past us.

"Shall we?" Dimitri asked taking the door from my grasp.

"I need to change." _Gah and shower._ "And shower, I haven't been to my room… lately."

"I'll wait." _Great, just great._ "My rooms right across from yours. Knock when you're ready." _Oh, it just keeps getting better and better._

"Okay," I whispered closing my door before letting out a strangled scream.

_"Rose? Rose are you okay?" Lissa's thought projected into my mind._

_ "Yes, I'm fine. Just learned some interesting news." _

_ "And?"_

_ "Good ole Guardian Belikov's room is across from mine. He heard me screaming in my sleep."_

_ "Why were you screaming in your sleep exactly?" She asked fear for me overpowering any other of her emotions._

_ "We'll talk later. I need to shower, so Guardian Belikov and I can start our shift…" She gasped."Yeah I'm just this lucky."_

_ "I'm sorry Rose," She paused. "Come by after your shift?"_

_ "It'll be late Liss." She scoffed at the thought. Time had never stopped me before. _

_ "I'll wait." _

Before I could respond I was pulled back into my mind. _Damn moroi. _I scowled at the picture of Lissa and me next to my bed before turning on the shower, letting it warm up as I set out new clothes.

After showering, for more than what was necessary, the water was just too comforting to leave. I changed and opened my door. I covered my mouth as I saw Tasha and Dimitri talking, quite animatedly, in his door way. Making sure neither noticed me I pushed my ear towards the slit in the door, trying to hear what they were saying, to no avail. Growling, I opened my door more, letting my presence be known.

"You ready Rose?" Dimitri asked looking past Tasha.

"If you need to stay a bit longer and continue this I'm more than capable of walking by myself Guardian Belikov." Tasha looked surprised at what I had called Dimitri and gave me a questioning look.

"You don't let your old student call you by your first name Dimka?" A small growl escaped my mouth, too low for Tasha to hear. Dimitri gave me a look, the one that told me to cool it. "Even after she saved you?" I flinched at that and started walking away.

"It was nice seeing you Tasha," I whispered, trying to keep the tears from flowing. _Damn, what's happening to me? I'm turning into a crying little baby._

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><p><strong>Sorry I know the chapters have been a little short, and this one isn't really my favorite! But oh well! So thank you everyone for reading and reviewing:) You all made my day! I just had to update before my SAT class started! Don't worry <strong>**XxDeadlyBlackRosexX I will make sure there is another "next" button soon:) Message me any suggestions or questions! I'll respond to all:) Even if it's just a simple hi;) **

**ANYWAY:) Hope you all have a wonderiferious day! Peace off.**

**~Bri**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't know about you but I cannot wait until the bloodline series! I dont even care if Rose and Dimitri aren't in it! (well that's a lie) I just want to read it:) Ah! Anyway so I don't own any of this, I wish I did! But i don't:(**

_Dimitri: "Were you really going to attack all of us? Doing that…protecting her like that—it was very brave. Stupid, but still brave. Why did you even try it?"  
>Rose: "Because I'm her guardian." <em>

**-I think that is when I fell in love?:)**


	4. Save Me

A few minutes after I reached the edge of court, checking the wards, Di- Guardian Belikov appeared. With his hands in his pockets he stood leaning against a tree, staring at me. But still I continued my rounds, trying to keep my mind from wandering to him, and failing, miserably.

"Tasha will be leaving court soon." I allowed myself to look over at him as he spoke. "That's why she was at my door."

"You don't have to explain anything to me Guardian Belikov. We're all allowed personal lives." With all the wards checked I stuck my hands into my pockets and made my way back to the gate. Keeping my gaze trained on the ground, I stepped past him only to be stopped.

"Roza." His voice stopped me dead in my tracks, bringing back painfully beautiful memories, mainly, _the cabin._ "Have I done something to upset you?"

"No," keeping my voice level I allowed myself to stare up into those gorgeous brown eyes that had once held so much love for me, but now only caused me pain. A few strands of his hair had escaped the pony tail, flittering in front of his face in the wind as his eyes bore into my own, trying to see into my heart. But, for once all my walls were up, hiding the pain I felt.

"Why are you calling me Guardian Belikov then?" His eye brows scrunched together, a scowl ever evident on his face.

"Are you seriously asking me this?" _Does "love fades, mine has" ring any bells Dimitri?_ "Or do you just miss me calling you comrade?" _Good ole Rose, always covering up feelings with humor._

"I don't understand Roza." I barely hid my flinch at the use of my Russian name before stepping further away from him with a sigh.

"You never do." Dejected, I turned back around continuing my walk back to the guard post. Sitting down in the desk chair, I took a quick scan of the room and closed my eyes, meditating for the rest of my shift.

A few hours later as I was walking towards Lissa's apartment I passed Dimitri, who was sitting on a bench, with his head in his hands. Against ever wish in my body I sat down next to him. Neither of us talked, just sat staring at the ground.

"I can't give you what you want Rose." We made eye contact and what I saw took my breath away. Dimitri's eyes held so much anguish, so much…regret, it seemed to break my heart even more. "I can't give you a normal life, I can't give you happiness…I-I can't even give you love. Something you deserve… I-I just can't." A tear slid down my cheek, onto the brown stained wood of the bench.

"Love doesn't just disappear Dimitri… It just doesn't." His eyes brightened the tiniest bit as I finally caved and called him by his first name, but just as quickly as it appeared, it vanished. "Especially not what we had, I won't give up on you."

"You have Adrian. He can give you what you want Rose."

"Don't tell me what I want!" I shouted, finally losing it. Everything I had been feeling for the past year had rose to the top and was now boiling over. Every ounce of pain, either felt by Lissa or I, was finally taking its toll. "I can't take this anymore! I don't want to feel like I'm dying every shitty second of my life! I'm done! I just want to be happy… is that too damn much to ask?" By the end of my rant I was sobbing hysterically as Dimitri just sat there, watching.

"I'm sorry." I dropped my head, defeated. With what was left of my dignity, I stood up and looked over at Dimitri.

"No, I'm sorry. I guess I didn't save you…not all of you."

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><p>"Rose." Lissa shook me from my sleep.<p>

As soon as I had left Dimitri, who had still been sitting on that damn bench, I had sprinted as fast as I could to Lissa's room, trying to keep myself from completely losing it. Before I had reached the door Lissa was standing in front of it and had grabbed me into a strong embrace before shoving ice cream and a comedy into my hands, leading me into her apartment. For the rest of the night we sat and talked about anything, anything that kept us off the subjects of love or _him_.

"Do we have to go? More importantly do _I_ have to go?" The queen had summoned Lissa and I, she didn't give a reason why, to her quarters early this morning. Meaning she was going to have to deal with a grumpy over emotional tired Rose Hathaway. Not to mention Tasha and Christian were to be there also, meaning Dimitri would most likely be there too. "She hates me. I hate her; we should just stay away from each other. Not to mention I may or may not attempt to kill Dimitri."

"You won't kill him Rose. Now up, get showered and dressed. You have 30 minutes or I'll drag you there like this." Lissa was using her "princess" voice, not even I could say no to her then. _Damn moroi princess._ "I heard that!"

After showering and changing into clothes, which Liss had stashed here for moments like this, we both made our way across court. As we reached the entrance to the queens quarters Guardians swarmed around us, bowing to the princess and wishing us both a good morning. Amongst them was Guardian Tanner, remorse shot through my veins as I thought of , whom was still a strigoi. As if reading my thoughts he smiled weakly over at me before leading us into the room.

Queen Tatiana sat in a chair in the middle of the room, a couch and two chairs surrounding her. On the couch to the left sat Christian looking as smug as ever and on the other one sat Tasha looking as radiant as ever. Both of them stood as we entered the room, smiling warmly at us before the queen spoke.

"Good morning princess Dragomir," She smiled "sweetly" over at Lissa before scowling in my direction. "Guardian Hathaway." Lissa bowed while I stood stubbornly with my arms crossed. Thankfully all I got this time was a scowl from Lissa, Queen Bitch expected my hatred from the many other times she had summoned us.

"Good morning your majesty," Lissa shot a look over at me and sat down on the couch closest to Christian. Finally moving from my spot I quickly sat next to Lissa and prepared myself for the worst. Yet, before the queen could speak again the door opened and Dimitri strode into the room, bowing before the queen, Lissa and both Christian and Tasha, never once making eye contact with me.

"My apologies you majesty," Dimitri spoke, his voice as normal sounding as ever. The queen just smiled and waved him in.

"Take a seat Guradian Belikov so we may begin." I took a quick look around and mentally cursed, causing Lissa to look over at me, down at the couch and back up to Dimitri. She gulped.

"I think I will just stand," Dimitri looked calm as ever, as if he was just trying to make sure Lissa and I stayed comfortable, mainly Lissa.

"Nonsense, there is plenty of room next to Guardian Hathaway, sit." I cringed and slid as close as I could to Lissa without anyone noticing, as Dimitri sat down sticking close to the side of the couch. The queen smiled; pleased with the outcome, as if she could tell how much pain she was causing me. "Well now that we are all here, I have a proposition for all of you." I sat up a little straighter, actually eager to hear what she was saying for once. "Guardian Petrov has informed me that the school has lost quite a few teachers and would enjoy having someone there to help, and to teach anyone who happens to be like princess Dragomir."

"What about Leigh University your majesty? I thought we had agreed on Rose and I going to college?" _Ah, this was the catch. _The Queen hated the idea of Lissa going to a human college. I knew she would do anything to stop this. _Stupid moroi bitch._

_"Rose!"_

_ "I'm allowed to my own thoughts Lissa, and you know it's true. I told you she wouldn't let you go."_

_ "I know…but what if there are moroi at the school who are spirit users? We could help them Rose. There could be more shadow kissed like you!"_

_ "Are you seriously going to give up college for this Liss? I thought this was your dream? Not teaching kids"_

_ "I don't know what my dream is anymore."_

"Well?" The queen asked, peeved by Lissa and I's "conversation".

"Will Rose be able to come with us?" Lissa asked, not even looking at me.

"Of course, they could always use more Guardians at the school." _Great, just great, now I'm going to be a teacher too._ "Along with Guardian Belikov, your old job is still available, as long as you aren't taking Lady Ozera's offer?" _Offer? What offer?_

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><p><strong>Hello everyone:) Sorry it took me so long to update! I won't be able to do my once daily updating anymore! Most likely twice a week! I'm thinking every Tuesday and Saturday? Anyway thank you for reading and <em>reviewing:)<em>**

**_Peace off!_**

**_~Bri_**

**_Disclaimer: Richelle Mead owns all people all!_**

Rose: "Hey, did you help come up with the plan to get us back? Because it was pretty good. Brute force and all that."  
>Dimitri: "You're complimenting me on that?"<p> 


	5. Partners again

"No your majesty I will not be accepting Tasha's offer to be her guardian." _Yeah that's right, take that biotch! _Tasha's smile faltered just the tiniest bit, enough for me to notice and smirk at. "But I will be accepting the chance to be Princess Dragomirs guardian again." _WHAT?_ This time I couldn't stop myself as I spun to face Dimitri. Lissa took my hand into hers, an attempt to rein me in before I exploded.

"I'll have the papers drawn up immediately," Queen Bitch stood, followed by everyone but myself. I still sat petrified on the couch. "Don't look so glum Guardian Hathaway, now you will be able to relax more with a partner. I assume the offer for Guardian Castile to be lord Ozera's guardian is still in place also?"

"Yes you majesty." Christian stepped forward. "It would be much appreciated."

"Done, Now I will give a week to decide whether or not you will take the positions back at the academy." Everyone bowed one last time. "You're dismissed."

Tasha and Lissa shuffled out of the room first, both discussing the "amazing" opportunity at the academy, while Dimitri walked behind them.

"Sucks doesn't it?" Christian spoke, taking step beside me. "I don't think either one of us can change her mind now."

"She's just doing this to keep Lissa from college." He nodded.

"Not to mention she hopes I won't follow Liss." He had a point. Queen Bitch dislikes Lissa and Christian's relationship almost as much as she hated me. Which is a lot.

"You will follow her though?"

"To hell and back." I smiled; always glad Lissa did have Christian. Someone she could always rely on. "Now now, don't get all sappy on me Rosie, I still hate you." With a quick jab to his chest, followed by him draping his arms around my shoulders, which was oddly comforting, we finally caught up to Lissa and Tasha. They both were staring at us questioningly, wondering when we became such great friends.

"Don't worry I'm just doing this to make sure Rose is uncomfortable at all times." Playing along I grimaced at him, to which he winked back.

"As long as you two aren't fighting I don't care." Lissa's smile widened, didn't know that was possible, and took her spot on the other side of Christian, taking his hand in hers to continue our journey across court. "Guardian Belikov you're free for the day until later correct?"

"Yes princess-"

"Lissa, if you're going to be around me all the time you might as well call me by my first name Guardian Belikov." A smile actually appeared on his face, something I hadn't seen in…months.

"As you wish pr-Lissa."

"Thank you. Well since you're free would you mind if we talked? In private." She meant the last for me, knowing I wouldn't really enjoy his company at the moment. "I'm sure Christian and Tasha would like to enjoy each other's company until Tasha returns home."

"What about Rosie here? Are we going to leave her all alone? She could rob a bank or attempt an assassination if she's left on her own." Christian nudged me, although underneath the humor I could tell he was actually worried about me.

"I'm sure Adrian misses her." _Ah, haven't told her._

"Actually…" I shifted from left foot to right, avoiding Lissa's gaze.

"Seriously?" Oh no, she was mad. I coughed nervously before shrugging.

"He ended it not me!" I raised my hands as if to say I was innocent, which I was! Lissa just sighed exasperated and shook her head at me.

_"Why didn't you tell me Rose?" _

_ "Didn't really come up." Now she seemed more upset than anything._

_ "Whatever, go find Eddie for Christian and tell him the Queen said yes."_

"As you wish Princess." I winked at her, bowing playfully before punching Christian in the arm and waving at Tasha. "See you later guys."

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><p>"Yo, Hathaway," Eddie called out, jogging over to where I was, leaning casually against the wall. He threw a water bottle at me, which I caught easily in my right hand. "Nice catch."<p>

"Never expect anything less Castile." I winked, taking a sip from the bottle. "Christian has some news for you." At this the smile on Eddie's face disappeared as he looked at me expectantly. I took another drink of water before continuing. "Well…"

"Agh! Just spit it out Rose! You're killing me here!" Letting out a quick laugh I threw the now empty water bottle back at him and started walking away. "Rose!"

"Welcome to the family Eddie! Be a dear and throw the bottle away for me!" Before he could aim, I dashed around the corner of the building smirking in triumph.

"This isn't over Rosie!" I heard Eddie call out as I chuckled and walked swiftly back to my room, for a much needed nap.

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><p><em> "Don't lie to me Dimitri." Lissa's voice caused Dimitri to drop his head into his hands and groan. Lissa quickly got off her couch and placed a reassuring hand on Dimitri's shoulder. "You know you can trust me Dimitri. I'm here for you."<em>

_ "I just… I just don't know what to do Lissa." His voice sounded so hurt…so regretful. "I feel as if I've destroyed everyone around me's lives. I can't move past…what I did. I can't forgive myself." Lissa took his hands into hers and they both just sat staring into each other's eyes._

_ "I forgive you Dimitri." A small formed on his lips and they both leaned in a little closer until Lissa's arms wrapped around his body and cradled him, like a small child, or lover. "I'll always be here for you Dimitri."_

_ "Thank you Lissa, I don't think I'll ever be able to thank you enough and… I'm so glad I have someone to talk to."Lissa just nodded and hugged his body tighter._

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><p>I shot up off my bed and wrapped my arms around my body, trying to still the sobs that were wracking through my body. A few minutes, or hours, later someone knocked at my door. I slowly made my way over and opened it.<p>

"Earlier it seemed you could use some of these." Christian walked in, a bag full of something delicious smelling in his hand. He glanced around my apartment for a moment, taking in the messed up bed, piles of clothes and absolutely spotless kitchen. "I guess you don't really use the kitchen much, huh?"

"Never really have time…" He nodded and placed the bag on the counter and looked over at me. We both stood there staring at each other, awkwardly, until he coughed and held the bag out for me.

"Hurry up, before I change my mind." I swiftly took the bag from his hands and started drooling as I pulled out a chocolate donut. Almost instantly I shoved it in my mouth, moaning at the taste, causing Christian to laugh and sit on my counter.

"Oh my god, if I didn't hate you so much Fire Breath I would kiss you." I mumbled, swallowing the second donut.

"No problem Rosie. It just seemed you needed a pick me up." I gave Christian a full smile and sat next to him on the counter. Again we sat there not speaking, but this time it wasn't awkward, but peaceful and somewhat… comforting. "I'm sorry." Christian's voice broke me from my trance and I looked over at him questioningly.

"W-what?" He gave me a look, one that seemed to say You-know-what-I'm-talking-about-don't-make-me-say-it-out-loud. I shrugged my shoulders and stared at the ground.

"I know you still love him." I scoffed and looked up at him, tears threatening to escape my eyes.

"I'll always love him Christian. Nothing will stop that. Nothing ever has." Christian gave me a small smile, before wrapping his arms around my shoulder, pulling me towards him. I didn't notice I was crying until he wiped the tears from under my eyes.

"One day he'll snap out of it Rose, don't give up." Remembering what I saw in Lissa's apartment for the first time I grimaced.

"He may have already moved on…" I muttered. Christian looked at me questioningly, and I tried to decide whether or not to tell him what I saw. "Don't listen to me I'm just a stupid heartbroken girl."

"You may be heartbroken, but you aren't stupid Rose, and you definitely aren't a girl. You've been through too much in your life to be a girl. We both have…"

"So you're a woman too?" I resorted back to sarcasm, masking my feelings, pushing them further back, past my walls that surrounded my heart.

"You know Rose; I think you may be the sister I never had." He gave me a small smile before walking to my door.

"And you Sparky are the younger the brother I never wanted." That earned another small smirk from him as he opened the door.

"Call me if you need anything Rose, I may not act like it all the time…but I do care for you and I'm…always here for you." I smiled at him as he waved before closing the door, leaving my utterly…alone.

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><p><strong>Hello everyone:) I know I haven't updated recently but, I'm back on schedule! So be happy:) Anyway the story starts to really pick up from here so yay!<strong>

**Next update on Saturday! Don't forget to tell me what you like, what you didn't, and if you have any ideas message me:) alright in more fanfic related nonsense I may write a Harry Potter(did any of you see the premiere? I DID:D soo sad its all over...) related one shot about Georgie:) He's my third fav character. First being Draco Second being...Fred... but yah I'll post that during the week so if you like Harry Potter check it out:) I promise the next chapter WILL BE LONGER! I pwomise! Anyway Peace off. (please review and all that other stuff you'll make my day/year!)**

**~Bri;)**


	6. Russian exchanged students

**Hey guys! I just want to say thanks for reading and that when any Russians are speaking and its Italicized(?) it means theyre speaking in russian! I found it way too difficult to google translate...and its not always reliable, so theres a heads up! Read on:) (thanks ****deliciouse ****for the idea;D)**

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><p>It was cold. Toe curling, brain freezing, unbearably cold and here I was sitting on a bench <em>waiting<em> for a student. Me, Rose Freaking Hathaway was waiting for someone? Unbelieveable.

To think only three months ago I was in my _cozy_ apartment in court and now I was back at the one place I didn't ever want to return, 's. Twenty four hours after our meeting with the queen, Lissa had confirmed our, her, want to return to the academy to teach. Lissa now taught a class to the younger moroi and damphirs, while also mentoring any spirit users, currently there were three. The oldest was a 14 year old girl, while the other two were 5 year old twins, one girl and one boy.

While Lissa was busy teaching, Christian and I were teaching moroi self defense, something the queen had been very forward with. For the first two months everything was fine, Dimitri was back at his old position and we rarely saw each other, a good and bad thing. My heart still yearned for him, and it always would. But, now I had some help from Christian, something that had really surprised me. Christian was now a brother to me and our relationship was still rocky at times, but I trusted him with my life.

Yet, today it all changed. A new damphir and moroi were coming to the academy. They had both been "released" from and were sent here for more "training" so, as punishment in my eyes, I was entrusted with the damphir, Aleksander Ivanov. Appearantly he was just like me when I returned to the academy, that much Alberta had informed me of, and that he had a very different approach to getting his point through. He took on 7 moroi, all fire users, for spreading rumors about his charge/best friend Georgiy Voda, Priscilla Voda's son.

Finally, after what seemed like years, the plane touched down and I crossed the distance, along with Eddie and Alberta. Two Guardians I had never seen before stepped off the plane first, followed by two boys, both tall, over 6ft, but one with shoulder length blonde hair and the other with short brown hair. Just with one glance I could tell the blonde was the damphir, his body was more toned than the other and there was a mischievous sparkle in his eyes, something I used to have.

(_italics are them speaking in Russian…)_

_ "Holy Shit dude, that one Guardian is Hot!" _Lord Voda hissed at his friend. I smirked; glad I had taken the time to learn Russian after all. Aleksander just nodded stopping right in front of us.

"Welcome to Montana Lord Voda, Aleksander." Alberta said, stepping forward and bowing in front of Lord Voda. "This is Guradian Hathaway, your new mentor Aleksander, and Guardian Castile."

"Please Guardian Petrov, I don't go by Lord Voda, that is my father." Alberta nodded before looking over at me, giving the signal to lead the boys to the van. The ride over was quiet except the whispers in Russian between the two boys. An hour later we pulled up to the front gates. Eddie turned around to look at the boys.

"Welcome to boys."

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><p>After we arrived the boys were shown to their dorms, while I took off towards the gym to relieve some stress. Lissa had been using a lot of spirit lately and the darkness was slowly catching up with me. I started off jogging around the track and ended up inside next to a punching bag, losing myself slowly with each punch. I let the memories slip to the surface, the darkness taking control.<p>

"Rose." His voice brought me out of my trance and I let my forehead rest on the bag. I felt him come up behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder, I stiffened at the touch. This had been the first time he had touched me, intentionally, in over three months. "Let me see your hands Rose." Not even Roza anymore… I missed it.

"I'm fine." Without a glance back at him I attempted to walk to the locker room, but I hadn't noticed how dizzy I was and fell forward.

"Roza!" I smiled, then darkness.

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><p>"She's been out for over an hour Liss." I slowly started regaining consciousness, feeling the warmth of Lissa's spirit as it healed my body. "You need to watch how you use your spirit Liss, I'm worried about her. She doesn't have anyone to help diffuse the darkness…anymore."<p>

"Don't you blame Dimitri for this Christian!" Lissa hissed, apparently I hadn't taken all the darkness. I tried to open my eyes again, but only groaned in frustration. "He has been through a lot! He needs time to heal!"

"He wouldn't be here if _she_ hadn't saved him Liss. Yes it was your spirit, but who researched it? Who broke into a prison? Who went to freaking _Siberia_ in the first place to find him?"

"He's too fragile Christian!"

"Bull shit! Don't give me that Liss!" I felt Lissa flinch through the bond and couldn't help feeling pride towards Christian, at least I had someone on my side. "If he's man enough he'll notice he's not helping her by staying away. He's _killing_ her."

(line)

Slowly, I opened my eyes and took in the room. It was empty. I sat up and tossed the covers to the side and stepped into the hallway only to bump into .

"Ah, Rose. I see you've finally woken up?" She smiled warmly at me and ushered me back into my room. "I just need to clean your wounds once more and you're free to go."

"Thanks doc." She just nodded in return and replaced the bandages on my hands before releasing me.

Quickly, before I ran into anyone, I escaped to my room. Which just _had_ to be next to Dimitri's? I mean seriously? Am I _this_ unlucky? At least Eddie's was across the hall, so I could always bother him at any time. After taking a shower, I took off towards Alberta's office, knowing she would want to speak with me.

"Come in Rose." Alberta said after I knocked on the door. I sat down in a chair in front of her desk and waited for her to start. "Are you feeling better?" I nodded once. "Good, Aleksander will be needing practices with you once a day. You get to choose the times, also you will attend all his classes," I groaned witch only lead her to smirk at my misery. "But, will not have any extra posts since Aleksander will be your main priority. Also Guardian Belikov will be helping you with Aleksanders training for the first month."

"Ah, is that really necessary Alberta? I mean I believe I'm capable of mentoring Aleksander on my own."

"Guardian Belikov insisted." My heart leapt at her words. Then my heart sunk, _Christian._

"Wait, what about my class with Christian?" Alberta pondered this for a second before speaking again.

"I will tell Guardian Belikov to watch Aleksander in his classes so you may continue teaching with Lord Ozera."

"Thank you Alberta." I waved before walking towards her door.

"Rose," I turned back. "Belikov will take his head out of his ass soon enough, don't you worry." I gaped at Alberta, never had I heard her speak like this…and I didn't know she _knew_. Was my moping _that_ obvious? "I was young and in love once too Rose. Just…don't give up. Now go find Aleksander, give a tour and such."

"Will do Alberta!" I shouted running out of her office.

"Its guardian… oh who cares. Be careful Rose!" She shouted after me. Ever since I had come back to the academy I only called her Alberta, never Guardian Petrov, well never to her face. I had too much fun knowing I could call her Alberta now to stop.

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><p>"Alright," I muttered awkwardly as I gave Aleksander a "tour"… more like walked around campus as ALeksander followed NEVER SPEAKING A WORD. My mind was slowly melting; I almost, almost, would rather spend 5 seconds alone with Dimitri then with this kid. At least Dimirti would try…no never mind. "So yeah that's …so."<p>

"I go by Alek." _Yes,_ he finally spoke! I almost wanted to hug him, almost wasn't enough though. But, I did stop in my tracks and smile at him. "You have a very beautiful smile Guardian Hathaway." My smile faltered and he dropped his head. "I apologize." This kid was _nothing_ like I used to be. He had manners, didn't speak and didn't seem to have a temper. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, no it's fine Alek. I uhm-uh… just yeah." He lifted his head and smiled. the first I had seen on his face. It was nice, not as nice as Di-… it was nice. "I'm just not used to this yeah know?"

"How old are you Guardian Hathaway?" I stepped back and blinked at him, surprised by this question. What boy asks a woman her age? I like him.

"I'm 19, thank you very much, and since we will be seeing a lot of each other until graduation my name is Rose. Guardian Hathaway is my mother." He smiled and we continued walking, the silence not as awkward. As we made our way back to the gym I pulled his arm, an attempt to stop him. What I didn't expect was that he flipped me onto my back, like you see in those awesome ninja movies, only not as awesome when it's done to you.

"_Shit_, Rose I'm sorry! I-I uh didn't mean to…"Alek looked flustered as he knelt down beside me, a few strands of his hair falling in front of his blue eyes. "I'm so sorry… I just…and… sorry."

"No, no it's fine Alek I-"

"Roza!" Dimitri's shout broke off whatever I was about to say and I dropped my head to the ground, groaning, and muttering Russian curses before his after shave assaulted my senses. "What happened?" Dimitri knelt down at my other side, checking my pulse, before turning to glare at Alek. "What did you do?"

"Woah, woah Dimirti calm down. I was… testing Alek. He passed." Alek nodded his thanks before excusing himself to go find Georgiy, effectively leaving me alone with Dimtri. This time I cursed in English, not wanting to give away my hidden talent just yet. Dimirti held his hand out to help me up, being too prideful, as usual; I stood up on my own and started to walk away.

"Roza, we need to talk." I groaned, again, and turned around. "I just spoke with Alberta about Aleksander-"

"He goes by Alek."

"Right, Alek. I've agreed to help you mentor him. For just the first month, until you get the hang of things." He stepped forward, worry etched in those beaut- I shook those thoughts away and forced a smile. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine Guardian Belikov…thank you." We both stood there awkwardly before I had enough. "Well, I need to find Lissa…so."

"Yes, of course, she has been asking for you the last few days. Have you been avoiding her? She doesn't need to stress of looking after you and the other children Rose-" I cut him off with my hand and stepped forward, the darkness I didn't release yesterday resurfacing.

"She doesn't need the stress? How can she be stressed? Her life is fucking _perfect._ Don't give me that shit Dimitri! _I'm_ the one who is stressed! With a class and a student to mentor not to mention every-" I took a deep breath not wanting to bring _that_ up right now. "Why do you always worry so much for her? Can't you see I'm the one in pain?"

"Rose…I owe her my life…she…she saved me." My eyes shot back up to him, the darkness in full effect now. I stalked further up to him, my fists clenched at my side.

"_SHE_ saved you? All she did was stake you… I…AGH, God dammit Dimitri why can't you see? Why are you so blind? WHY?" I spun around, fully intent on punching Dimitri in the face, giving him some real _pain_, but the somewhat sane part of my mind was now controlling me. "Can you go find Aleksander and Georgiy? I know Christian will want to talk about the self defense class with Georgiy and I need to talk about practices with Alek." I didn't wait for an answer before running off to find Lissa.

* * *

><p>"Liss?" I called out, walking into her "class room". Ever since Lissa had started teaching I felt I was coming to a meeting more than just to talk.<p>

"Be there in just a second! Make yourself comfy!" Exhibit A, "make myself comfy" she never used to say that to me. It was always friendship first, then spirit. But now… it was more like spirit first, kids second, Christian third, Dimitri fourth and, _if _she had time, Rose last. Normally I'm okay with change, a little hesitant at first but I get used to it, but this…this I couldn't handle. So, like a good little guardian I obeyed, sitting down on one of the sofas in her "class room", more like a social room with all the couches, t.v.'s and video games. "Oh, hey Rose."

"Hi Liss, I thought I'd swing by and see how you were doing…?" Exhibit B, no enthusiasm about seeing me, Ever. She glanced down at her watch before looking back up over at me.

"I should ask you the same thing. I heard you were in the hospital again?" I nodded my head, gesturing for her to sit down.

"I was, but that's not what I'm here to talk about. I want to hear about you. We haven't really _talked_ in almost three months. I miss us. I miss you."

"I know Rose, I do too. But…these kids need my help! I just can't let them suffer like I did. I can't."

"You mean like _we _did." She shook her head at me, as if I was telling a funny joke.

"Oh Rose. Look I have to go help Jeremy and Lily," the twin spirit users. "How about we talk over dinner, tonight? At my place?" As usual she never has time for me. I nodded, accepting her offer. Yet, before I could even say goodbye Lissa was off, out the door.

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><p><strong>Hey guys! So this chapter was longer;) I'm getting there! Also it was on time! so gold star for! BUT more importantly gold stars for all of you who are reading, favoriting my story and myself and reviewing;) you guys make me SO flipping happy! So heres a shout out to all of you! Anyway next chapter will be out on Tuesday! Hoping for 3,000 words, fingers crossed! Anyway read on people and Review, please! If you don't want to its fine, but whatever;) Peace off!<strong>

**~Bri**

**p.s. NO Dimitri and lissa are not getting together and neither are rose and christian so dont worry! it will all stay canon couples! Anyway thanks i love you all like a vampire loves blood(too creepy?;D)**

**Oke im done doing disclaimers theyre pointless we all know who owns VA, if you dont go pooh on yourself! JK thatd be gross.**


	7. Shadow Kissed pt1

**WOO over 3,000 words:) I'm proud of myself! alright anyway yet again if the words are italicized they be speaking in zee russian. Read on peeps;)**

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><p>Liss and I never had that dinner; the queen abruptly summoned Christian, Georgiy and herself to court for some "important news". Or at least that's the excuse she gave me. So rather than travelling with her as normal guardians do with their charges, Dimitrti, Eddie and I got to stay behind, and me, being so lucky, got to take over Christians class and mentor Alek at the same time. Oh no, the best part was though, that Dimitri would be helping me with both. Yipp-freaking-ee.<p>

"Everyone pair up! We're going to try a new exercise." All 10 students, not many parents wanted their moroi training… not to mention half the class was the moroi's damphir partner of choice. Meaning only 5 moroi were actually here. It was kinda a letdown to Christian when we first started with only 3 moroi, but now with 5 our hopes for more students had grown. "Guardian Belikov and I will demonstrate. Today we will actually begin sparring. But, damphir's this will not be the sparring you are used to, since the moroi have not had as much experience we will use the simple rules, there will be no punching only kicking, trying to land the strigoi on his back, to give you time to flee."

I waved Dimitri over to the mats as the kids spread out on the edge.

"Dimitri will play the strigoi while I will show you what to do." They all nodded, sitting down anxious to actually see the famous Rose Hathaway fight the Russian God Dimitri Belikov.

"Ready?" Dimitri asked before crouching low into an offensive stance, while I stood up slightly, balanced. I nodded once and it began. At first he attempted to pounce onto my back or trip me but I had grown faster since we had last fought. It seemed like years ago when he had been my mentor…Memories started flashing before my eyes… the first time I landed a punch, the first time I had actually won a sparring match… _the stolen kisses_… In my moment of weakness Dimitri kicked my legs out from under me. I landed _hard_.

"Never hesitate." Dimitri's voice boomed through the room, all the moroi taking his words to heart. While I, on the other hand, tried to fight the memories that were passing through my eyes. Dimitri noticed my shaking body and turned back towards the kids. "Class dismissed."

"Don't…please…" My whole body was now shaking, all I could see were those eyes…the blood red eyes staring back at me with such cruelty, the way I had just stood staring as those very words passed through his pale lips.

"Roza…" His voice, it seemed so far away. Yet, there was no coldness as was expected, it was… sad. Strigoi didn't have feelings, Why was he sad? "Come back to me my Roza."

"Dimitri?" I opened my eyes abruptly, cowering from the figure in front of me. I didn't want to see those red eyes. I couldn't handle it. "I'm sorry…" My voice was barely above a whisper as he drew me into his warm arms…warm arms? I opened my eyes again gazing at his face, one that wasn't pale, and the red eyes I hated were no longer existent, the warm chocolate brown ones I loved stared back at me instead. "Thank god… I thought… I-I uh."

"This is why I cannot love you Roza. The things I did to you… I can never forgive myself. Never."

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><p>"How are you holding up Rosie?" Christian asked over the phone. Just because Lissa didn't communicate with me, didn't mean Christian didn't. Over the last few weeks I had even stopped slipping into Lissa's mind, it had been to upsetting. "Dimitri isn't annoying you too bad now is he?"<p>

"Did Eddie tell you?"

"No… Lissa did?" Was she slipping into my mind again? We thought that had stopped? As if hearing my inner monologue Christian sighed before speaking again. "_Belikov_ told her, in one of their _daily talks_." This was why I loved, I know surprising because of our past, Christian. He understood me and unlike other people, was on my side.

"At least he talks about me now?" My voice started to waver again. "How long do these talks usually last."

"Thankfully only a couple minutes, I would start to suspect something if they lasted longer…" We both at first were wary of Dimitri and Lissa spending time together, but after "listening" in on their talks, I found Lissa only felt remorse for him, nothing else. "But, I know Lissa only feels maternal feelings for him. Like he's a lost child and she's nursing him back to health."

"Like a bird."

"Yes, a small Russian bird, with emotion issues."

"Christian we both know Dimitri is anything but small." Christian's abrupt laughter through the phone warmed my heart. Knowing he would always be there to make me laugh and I him.

"At least you can joke about him Rose…maybe…your?" My mood dropped back down to crapsville as he mentioned this, again. Christian believed I could move on eventually.

"You and I both know that will never happen…" He sighed through the phone, obviously not wanting to get on to this topic again.

"We saw Adrian earlier; he had a girl with him." I hadn't talked to Adrian since the night we broke up…he hadn't dream walked with me since, I missed him and his arrogant ways.

"That's good, I'm…happy for him." And I truly was, I wanted Adrian to be happy. But…I always wondered, will _I_ ever get to be happy? "I'm sorry Christian but… I-I've got to go. Bye." I closed my cell, lying down on to my bed. I lay there wondering if the girl Adrian had found was pretty. I hoped she was nothing like me; he didn't need anyone that was broken. He needed someone to fix the mess I had made with him. As the night drug on I started to finally close my eyes and ever so slowly fall asleep…

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><p>"Rose… Are you in there?" Groaning I opened my eyes and threw a pillow at the door. Whoever was knocking on my door either had a death wish or was mentally insane, probably both. Yet ever so slowly I edged forward and swung it open, ready to scream at whoever was on the other side.<p>

"Alek…? What…?" He smiled and looked down at his shoes, nervously shifted from one foot to the other. He looked as if he was running from someone, bringing a slight smirk to my otherwise bewildered expression.

"Can I come in?" I nodded, opening my door for him to enter. Quickly he came in, as I checked if anyone had seen, before closing the door and looking over at him expectantly. "Can we talk?"

"Sure, is something wrong? Isn't Guardian Belikov supposed to be with you…?" A dark chuckle left his lips and my heart faltered for a beat, thinking the worst. For a moment the cave came to mind…Nathan standing over dimitri's lifeless body…the blood dripping-.

"I _lost_ him after practice." Alek burst me from my nightmare as he edged forward taking one of my hands into his. "I was worried about you." Slowly he leaned forward closing his eyes, as if he was trying to _kiss me._

"Woah there," I put my hand up to his face, causing him to open his eyes confusedly. "I don't know…" I took a step back, shaking my head at him. Wondering where in the world this was coming from. Compulsion came to mind, but was immediately struck off the list, didn't seem possible.

"You aren't attracted to me?" Attracted to him? Where did he get that idea? "_Georgiy told me her aura showed love…"_ This time my heart stopped, Georgiy was seeing auras?

"Georgiy is a spirit user?" This time it was Alek's turn for his heart to stop as he stared blankly at me. "Alek, is Georgiy a spirit user?" I asked again, edging forward as he backed up, closer and closer to the wall.

"_You understand Russian?"_ Of all the things to be worried about… he was worried I understood Russian… boys.

"_I speak it quite well too Aleksander. Now answer my question is Georgiy a spirit user?"_

_ "Yes,"_ Dear lord things were getting interesting. I thought Georgiy was a fire user… Christian even said he was and Lissa, well she wouldn't have had time to actually realize he was a spirit user. "He is also my bond mate."

"What?" It never even passed through my mind that Alek could be shadow kissed. Although I now understand how he took down those seven moroi.

"Please do not tell anyone! We can't risk…"

"Is the darkness getting to Georgiy?"

"The darkness?" Oh dear lord, these kids were just like Liss and I were before, clueless. Just thinking about what they'd been through, the depression and torture for not specializing was making my head spin. But, what I was most worried about was Alek, how was he coping with all of this. How had he, just like me, been brought back to life? Did he see the ghosts like I did? Could he sense strigoi…? "Rose?"

"I'm sorry…I uh, blanked out for a moment." I sank down onto my bed, letting everything sink in as Alek stood awkwardly across the room.

"I think I should leave. I apologize for this Guardian Hathaway." Alek opening my door caused me to react, as if cold water had been thrown on me, jumping to my feet, begging him to come back in.

"No, Alek we need to talk."

"No, Guardian Hathaway-"

"Get in the damn room Alek." I growled, grabbing his shirt and dragging his sorry butt back into the room. "Tell me."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything." And so that's what he did, for three hours straight. I now knew every detail of both Aleksander and Georgiy's lives. From when they first met at the age of 3, to when George, as he prefers to be called by close friends, saved Alek from death.

"It happened about a year ago. George wanted to go cliff diving off the coast of Ireland, not one of the smartest things in the world with the crazy currents. But, I never said no to George, so I went with him, keen on just observing." Alek closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I have never told a soul this Rose, it's very…difficult."

"Lissa saved me in a car crash, the same crash that claimed the lives of both her parents and her older brother." Over the years it had become easier for me to talk about the accident. It still held some emotional toll, but it was easier knowing I was still here. I was also hoping by me telling him this he'd be more comfortable with telling me his story. A "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" sort of tactic.

"It gets easier over time yes?"

"Moving on gets easier," Alek nodded his head, staring down at the floor for several moments before looking back up at me.

"We both jumped off the cliff together. George had a clean dive, while me… I-uh landed on jagged rocks." He dropped his head in his hands, his whole body shaking. I didn't know if I should console him, if it was the "right" thing to do. But, I did it anyway. I wrapped my arms around his toned body, allowing him to let go. After a few moments he composed himself and slid out of my embrace, continuing with the story. "George healed my broken neck, and collapsed lung, effectively bringing me back to life. I own him the world for that."

We both sat there for a few moments just staring at each other, realizing how similar we really were. It was insane.

"At times it seems more like a curse than a blessing…" I mumbled, breaking the uneasy silence in the room.

"How so?"

"They use spirit and we, the bond mate get to deal with the after effects."

"The darkness?"

"Exactly. Has Georgiy ever _lost it_?" Alek looked over at me confusedly, for what seemed like the millionth time today. I felt that I was speaking a different language to him at times. "Acted crazy? Like in a rage."

"Yes," He paused for a moment before speaking again. "Those seven fire users had been attacking George and he was done with being weak so he…made them _see_ things."

"Like spiders or something?" He sat there thinking for some time before nodding his head.

"Yes, one of the boys was screaming about snakes… as if they were eating him alive."

"Did you take it, the darkness, away from him?"

"All I remember is seeing darkness, and then waking up in my room with George staring intently at the wall, telling me we had to leave. That I was to be expelled if we both didn't leave ."

* * *

><p>Alek left an hour or so before sunset, giving him enough time to sneak back into his room before anyone was awake. While I on the other hand, lay on my bed staring at my ceiling, anxiously awaiting news from Christian. They had been with the queen for over 8 hours now. Something was up. I almost gave in to temptation and entered Lissa's mine, but stopped at the last second.<p>

So I sat there, waiting and waiting. I had almost fallen asleep when my phone rang, loudly I might add, in my ear. Within seconds I had pressed answer and was speaking rapidly into it.

"Christian, what happened? What'd the queen say-" I wanted to keep blabbering but was cut off by an unexpected voice.

"Rose, this is Dimitri. Alek is unconscious…" He paused for a second unsure of what to say. "Like you when you're in Lissa's mind."

"Where is he?"

"Gym."

"Be there in five." I quickly hung up the phone, throwing on jeans and a jacket before running out into the cold of night. The sun had just set and the moroi were all beginning to walk around campus, thankfully the gym was in the opposite direction of the cafeteria, which could've been a problem. As soon as I reached the building I burst through the doors, finding Dimitri sitting down next to Alek's body, which was lying limp on the floor. You could only tell he was alive by the movement of his chest when he breathed.

"Do you think he's shadow kissed, like you?" Dimitri asked as soon as I sat down. I smoothed back the hair from Alek's eyes, causing Dimitri to frown, before answering.

"I don't know." Anger flared in Dimitri's eyes, but was quickly hidden, just like the rest of his emotions. Probably in some dark cave in the middle of Siberia.

"Do not lie to me Rose. He is as much my student as he is yours." Dimitri all but growled as he stood up, pacing across the mat. This was new; Dimitri was never one to pace. That was something Lissa did. _That_ brought a frown to my face.

"I see Lissa is rubbing off on you." He quickly looked down at me, rolling his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Why are you lying to me Rose?"

"I'm not lying to you Dimitri." He spun around to face me, squatting so we were eye level.

"I can see it in your eyes Roza, you _are_ lying." I scoffed at him before returning my attention to Alek. "No, look at me!" Dimitri hissed, grasping my chin until I spun to face him. "Why. Are. You. Lying?"

"Let. Go." I growled, shoving his hand away. Dimitri was acting immature and it was started to get on my nerves.

"Do you love him…?" My heart swelled as I noticed a tinge of jealous in his voice. On the inside I was practically doing a jig. But, on the outside I was calm.

"Why would you care?" As soon as I spoke the last word I was pulled, by my arms, to my feet. Meeting face to chest with Dimitri. He pushed me back against the wall. The bricks digging into my shoulder blades as Dimitri once again grasped my chin, making me look up into his eyes. What I saw scared me. There was so much anger, hurt, and raw passion pent up in his eyes I could barely breathe.

"_Why_ would I care?" He whispered harshly, glancing with his eyes at Alek before return his stare to me.

"Yes." Seeing as I was still stubborn Dimitri let go of my chin and placed both of his hands on either side of my head, lining his face up with mine. So now we could both stare into each other's souls. Seeing who would give in first. I badly wanted to wrap my arms around his waist and press my lips against his…but no, I wouldn't give in. Not this time.

"I care…" His mouth was now centimeters away. With both of our hearts beating out of control and breathing coming out in short gasps of air. His nose skimmed mine, causing a shiver of delight to run down my spine. "…because…" His lips barely pressed against mine, in a whisper of a kiss. "You are _mine._" With that he let loose, smashing his lips hard against mine, pushing my back even deeper into the wall as we both grabbed onto each other for dear life.

"Dimitri…" I gasped as we both pulled back, his forehead leaning against mine as we both tried to control our breathing. While his hand traced patterns onto my cheek as I stroked the hair on the back on his neck. We were both just letting this moment happen for as long as possible.

"Oh _Roza_…" he breathed kissing me lightly, before pushing himself away. Yet again he was turning his back on me, on _us_. A single tear ran down my cheek, leaving a scalding path as I watched him exit the gym, without even a glance.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry! I know this one got your hopes up and then squashed them, like an icky bug. Yuck. Anyway I just wanted to say THANK YOU for reviewing, and reading and adding my story and stuff to your favorites and alerts! The other day i woke up to 18 emails of reviews and such and it MADE MY DAY! I just wanted to thank you all for making me so happy;) Yes so i will attempt to make the next one even longer! i maaayyy post before Saturday...we'll see... Peace off!<strong>

**~Bri**

**P.S. I FREAKING LOVE YOU ALL! Oke im done now;)**

_"Keeping love buried was a lot like keeping anger pent up, I'd learned. It just ate you up inside until you wanted to scream or kick something."_  
><em>- Rose Hathaway (Shadow Kiss) -<strong>that right thur is true shit;)<strong>_


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